Cyber Self concepts, creating who you are not!

In today's world it is amazingly easy to create a false cyber you. But is that really you? When we create a make-believe, or false reality of who we are does that change anything inside of us? Of course not, but so many folks today begin to believe who their cyber identity is. More importantly, at least I think, we run a huge risk of building our self concept off of something that has not connect to reality and therefore thrusts us into a dangerous emotional landscape.

My son is an outstanding X-Box player and has an identity based off of his "gamer-tag". Within the X-Box world is has many friends. When I take his X-box away, I realize that I take his identity away. How did a gaming system become so entrenched into his self concept? But it is not just gaming systems is it? Facebook, Myspace and so on have all become a source in which we create, or re-create our self concept. Even Blogs have become this tool or vehicle in which we escape reality and create false realities in which we are something other then what we are, why? Why is who we are so despised by our internal opinion? Are real people, real relationships that bad that we escape into cyber world to avoid the drama? Are there real people still living on this planet?

If we can not accept ourselves, if we continue to dislike who we are, are there healthy, honest and open ways to re-define that self image? Of course there are. But that takes work, and most likely we will have to deal with issues that we tend to bury deep within our internal "closets". The big problem is that this behavior creates hate and anger deep within. And sooner or later that anger is going to come out one way or another. How do we find, foster and appreciate those who are accepting of our true self?

I like to engage folks, challenge them to grow, but this seems to be to much for most. I realize that no one really wants to change. It is so much easier to stay on a dysfunctional path that usually someone else set us on. why should anyone of us take control of our own lives and our own self concept. Why not let everyone else define us, after all it is most likely better than what we think of our selves anyway? Just log on to the cyber world and create some false front and base our lives off of what goes on there, after all I can always log off if I don't like it, right?

The world's deepest bin - Thefuntheory.com - Rolighetsteorin.se

Piano stairs - TheFunTheory.com - Rolighetsteorin.se

Creating positive change

Happy Thanks Giving

Pics from Oregon photo shoot

SBH Quote of the day

“It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness”
a Chinese proverb.

The illusions of life.

The illusions of life often mislead us to false realities. The other night I was invited as a guest of the main actress to attend a taping of a television show. So I arranged to take my children and give them an opportunity to see how a TV show is made.

It took no time at all before their (kids) questions started to spill forth. The concept of facades, sets, props, and the like began to create several exciting paradigms, and what they thought they saw was not really what they were seeing. It was Hollywood magic at its best. Doors that are not really doors, rooms that are not rooms, an office set next too a bedroom set, where you only have to walk a few feet and the camera sees something completely different. Watching my children walk around the sets and getting to set down on the set was something else. I began, as always, to think about this experience and life as a whole.

I have talked about facades here in other posts, but I have never explored our ability to create and re-create internal sets about who and what we are. How many sets have we created inside? Little rooms of different personalities that we manifest into behaviors. We buy props for these sets, for example, if I wanted to build an image (set) that I am a biker guy. I would need some cool props to sell that image. A motorcycle, some cool clothes and so on. I might even learn some new vocabulary, an create a persona just like a real actor would for a movie part.

But is this image of who I am real or imagined? The TV set we are on, was really nothing more than a big warehouse room. Boring and uncreative. I took someone to create and build what we saw the other night. It took an investment of time, energy and no doubt money.

Who we think we are is not really that different. We broadcast our conceived self to everyone who cares to tune in. Our clothes, cars, furniture, the books we read and put up on shelves, all become props to this madness of self definition. Even the colors we choose are very telling to those who watch our show.

Like Hollywood, we become that image created on that "set". And like Hollywood, we can tear down a set and create a new one. This is the amazing thing, we can change our image, to others and ourselves. But many of us, continue to live out or lives in "sets" created by others. We continue to define our self by what some else created. Is that the image, the life you want?

Thoughts?

Talking to ourselves

If your like me, you spend a good amount of time thinking and talking to your self in your mind. What do you say? Or better yet, what is the tone and temperament you afford yourself. 99.9% of the folks I come in contact with will say that they beat themselves up on a regular basis. The image of themselves, hidden away in that dark deep domain of ourselves, is not a very positive one. Why is that?

It is here in this lonely quite place where our choice is forged. We decide to take risk, or stay safe once again disappointing ourselves with a long line of should have, would have, could have excuses to live. Why do we do that? Why not just teach ourselves how to talk nicer to ourselves, encourage ourselves? This is truly one of the magical benefits of begin human. The old "I think I can" becomes huge. Our ability to choose greatness in whatever we do is a gift we most often times throw away in the dirt. We create these fragile interior selves where we allow just any degrading comment to steal away our internal confidence.

We, ourselves, are the biggest agents of change. We can create opportunity or steal our own dream away. So, are you telling yourself that you are not worthy, or do you want to tell yourself that you are a great person destined for great things? It is your choice.

Thoughts?