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Thursday, August 31, 2006

Looking back and seeing forward

As I look back over the many sunrises, I realize that the sunsets have become way points in a journey of ups and downs, happiness and sorrow, sacrifice and selfishness. I ask myself "did I show up?" and "did I bring my A game?"

Why am I never satisfied with yesterday's accomplishments? As some would say, I harbor unhealthy memories. Memories that would appear as ghosts for most. I have been ringside and seen the end of the great journey for way too many. Standing there helplessly as life slipped away. "Only if" echoes through my mind. This has fueled the drive to touch every soul I can before it is too late. Anchored to my God, I can only reach out to those who choose to grab hold. Why do people choose not to grab hold?

I can't change the past, this I am pretty sure of. I can change the future, this I know. Precursors, predictors, and probabilities formulated from the past tell us where and what to target tomorrow. Destroyed marriages, dysfunctional families and children growing up believing that some how this whole mess is their fault. Here starts the journey of suffering and anguish. Condemned to repeat this generational disaster over and over again. I stand on a thin line between hope and despair praying others will join me before I tire and fail another. Does not anyone see the harvest rotting in the field? Where the hell are the workers? I will tell you where most of them are. In a safe and secure environment protecting what is not theirs; their life! Complacency, mediocrity, and fear keep many bound to a belief that was born of the evil one! We chase foolishness for self and forget the real prize; another's life. Who will stand and fight the fight that wages in the shadows where no one cares who the victor is. Our country's government tracks the number of thrown away children while we sleep peacefully in our false sense of safety and selfishness. "Why do I risk" you ask? I risk, so your children may be free of such ugliness.


Barrett, M said...

I suspect you were around when Keith Green sang "Asleep in the Light". There was a line in that song that said something like, "Jesus rose from the dead, and you can't even get out of bed".

I guess you are restating the same message 25 years later.

But you come close to sounding like a martyr. Are you really that alone? Doing what? Is it police work? If so, and if you are doing it as a dedicated follower of Christ, then you will stay pretty alone. You would know better than most that even the best intentioned followers of the Way get pretty thrashed towing a righteous line in the streets.

Talking Bear said...

I do not mean to sound like a martyr. Just tired of a journey I know in my heart I must continue, for now. Yes, it does weigh on me greatly!

Anonymous said...

Hey talking bear, where do you live? I would love to hang with you and climb rocks. Are you anywhere near Sedona?

Talking Bear said...

Where I live is a topic I have learned to keep safe. I would love to "hang out and climb." However, my schedule is very hecktic as of late. I am several hours from sedona at the moment. If you like to climb and want to make a difference in others lives I have a good friend that is working with the Hopi Indians near you. I could hook you two up. This guy was/is one of the greatest mentors I have ever had. He has been featured in some magazines and is a great climber.
Stay anonymous if you wish, but it does make one pause when a realtionship is being sought.

Big-Mac said...

TB, this resonates with me, heavily. I feel burdened, no... stricken with seeking the lost. The "harvest rotting in the field"... wow. The helplessness I feel when I think about this is incredible. It seems overwhelming. But I know too that we rely on a power greater than ourselves and our own understanding. That is where I find comfort in this, that it is a GOOD fight. Lifelong? Yes. Tiring? Yes. Rewarding? Most definitely - more than anything in this world.

Talking Bear said...

Thanks Big-Mac. I loved your comment. Your right about the higher Power and resting in His will. Sometimes I wonder if He is rely on us to get a job done and we keep letting him down. I can remember sitting in church on Sundays as a child. I would always stare at the inscription on a beam up high. It said " Attempt great things for God, except great things from God." This saying has suck with me more than the thousands of words spoken from the front. Thanks again, and keep up the good fight.

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