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Friday, November 24, 2006

Group Therapy

Some how, a nice tight group always makes me feel better about things! However, tight groups just don't happen by themselves! One has to have mastery of ones person and ones environment!

Controlling yourself; your body, your mind, and your intentions is key to positive group therapy. Understanding how you respond in various environments is also extremely important. The interaction within an environment dictates how well a therapy session turns out.

For example; one would use different approaches at night time then at day time, In cold weather opposed to warm weather, high altitude opposed to low altitude. Your environment definitely effects your therapy sessions.

Now that I have painted a picture using a target, and drawn you into an assumption that I am talking about shooting weapons, let me expose my true target. I am talking about how we interact with our life's daily environments. If you let life just happen then you are not experiencing life as it was meant to be experienced. Controlling yourself; your body, your mind, and your intentions are details that either make life happen to you or for you, your choice. Mastery of your environment; understanding how you interact within various social groups, knowing how social groups behave at night time or day time, and knowing how nature effects those social groups becomes paramount to positive group therapy.

We do not pull a gun out and just start waving it around. People get nervous. But we constantly pull our mouths out and wound people. Imagine our tongues or mouths as a weapon. How often do you put nice tight groups right where you wanted them on the prescribed target? Or, do you just throw rounds down range hoping life just happens for you?

We have the power, with our words, to create nice tight groups or to completely miss the target and hit some unintended sensitivity. Personally, I love it when I hit the target with a nice tight group. I love to see some one come alive by a comment I make. I love it when others see the possibilities that their life contains. On the other hand, I feel sick when I miss. Hurting or destroying another persons hopes and dreams is unacceptable for me these days. I am learning how to gain mastery of myself, as well as, learning how to be affective in my various environments. Our comments, mere words, become bullets. We get to choose if they are bullets of healthy healing power or bullets that destroy others self images. Choose wisely and master your weapon!

6 comments:

gogo said...

"Imagine our tongues or mouths as a weapon. How often do you put nice tight groups right where you wanted them on the prescribed target? Or, do you just throw rounds down range hoping life just happens for you?"

...these are excellent words, to remember and live by; our words can build up others, and ourselves, or our words can destroy...the consequences of our choices can be humbling, to say the least...thank you for this quiet, but powerful reminder!

Talking Bear said...

Gogo, your welcome. I loved your comment....

Anonymous said...

It is interesting that a target with a tight shot group was selected to draw our attention regarding interpersonal relationships; and initially, I thought that it was simply a bait-and-switch, but I now I see the double entendre, with an obscure meaning.

“Personally, I love it when I hit the target with a nice tight group. I love to see some one come alive by a comment I make.”

I think that many of us feel that we have the answers that are best for that other person, and when we send that salvo of word-bullets to its target, there might be that desire to help, but the receiver is always hurt and embarrassed, regardless if they show it or not.

I do not want to believe that most people that engage in this activity really want to hurt the other person. I do believe that they want to dominate the meeting or social gathering, and use their word-bullets as a communications medium; or they are socially inept and just don’t have a clue. The latter is in my opinion the most hurtful, because they just don’t know what they do!

I have seen word-bullets used in a professional and social settings and have seen good people withdraw and become less than functional to the team and in turn their friends and family. We have all seen this when a member or members of a group are given “sucking chest wounds” by the words of others. The words travel down range at high velocity and when they find their mark take all the air and life from the heart of the intended victim. I’m not sure if it matters that the comments are deliberate or not, the receiver is painfully hurt. These volleys issued as humor or verbal barbs are intentially used to wound. A double entendre issued with a smile and received with a painful polite smile.

“Our comments, mere words, become bullets. We get to choose if they are bullets of healthy healing power or bullets that destroy others self images.”

The metaphor “bullets of healthy healing power” really isn’t appropriate here. Why don’t we think of beating our swords into ploughshares, not use words as bullets, but as seeds for growth and not tools of oppression or hurtful thoughts?

Talking Bear said...

Anon, Great comment. I agree with all of it. I used the target and the metaphor to make a point. Yes, it does seem harsh, seeds of growth is a much better picture. I wanted to touch on the choice we should make, or being aware that there should be thought before comments are made to others. And that those comments can be and often are very powerful. In the past I have thrown comments out there and I am sure I have offended or hurt others. For this I am saddened. I have also learned to not give answers, but to ask questions. You are right about many feel they have the answer for someone else. I now realize that I dont have many answers. Qesutions work better for me and help others draw their own answers.

Thanks for the comment, I hope you leave more!!!

Anonymous said...

Judging from the title of your last post, I guess that the conversation hit a tinder spot. The title was a close shot group, sincere regrets, but the ideas I believe are true. The pictures that are created, regardless if it is the "target article" or the one in which you discuss the things that you have seen, my experiences led me to vividness of my visualizations.
I prefer that you not use my name in the title please.

Jack

Talking Bear said...

Anon, or Jack,

The use of the name "Jack" was areference to the television show Jeapordy. Where they had to answer in question format. I had no idea or knowledge of your name. I am not sure of the tinder spot you mention, and you should have no regrets. If you are the one that left the first anonymous comment here, I loved it. In fact you made some great point which made me think more on the topic, hence the other posts. No tender spots, just a willingness to look at all the veiw points and adjust my own.

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