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Sunday, July 15, 2007

Choosing beyond our understanding

I am often amazed at the choices made in the days of our youth, and even in the years there after sometimes. We understand so little about this life, yet we make choices with tremendous consequences in the blink of an eye. Many of these choices that are made will cause ripples throughout eternity. Do we ever give a thought to that fact? Do we really understand the cause and effect of our choice?

I love it when we get a young life up high and have them sit down and look at the world they have been in for the past several days. Their little box of beliefs, paradigms, and dreams becomes so much more than it was a moment ago. Every once in awhile, I try and do the same exercise to myself. Stop, see, and sense the ripples of my choices. Often times, what brings me to this place is the harsh consequences of those choices: a fractured relationship, an unexpected death, or some other costly reprisal that life throws our way.

Do we ever really understand the myriad of consequences that lay beyond our choices? Can we honestly live with the responsibilities that are concealed in words like; lead, direct, prevent, intervene, cause, care, love, or hate? I have no answer for you here, only questions. I myself, am full of "what ifs" and "I should have", "could have" and "would haves". I frantically try to close every day out absent of regret, but to no avail. I have yet to really understand the multi-dimensional ripples, my choices create as they spread across sea of humanity. I constantly wake up with this nagging anxiety that I will waste another choice, not really understanding the weight nor the gravity, that choice will have on the life in front of me.

A boy sits with me as we talk about where we have come from and what the future holds. In a few months I will learn that a hard core gang member put a bullet in this boy's back as he walked home from Jr. High. Whatever ripples he was destined to make are done. Whatever understanding he may have thought he had, was disproved the moment that hammer slammed forward. Could I, or should I have made a bigger ripple when we sat together? My aching heart and tearful eyes wonder.


Anonymous said...

What makes me sad about your story is that you think this boys ripples have ended. I dont think thats true. I believe that his ripples will be felt by others for a long time. His ripples on your life is still being felt. Your story proves that.
The questions that you ask your self are detrimental. Life can not be lived with "what ifs", "could haves or should haves". We live our life to the best that we can. hopefully learning soemthing about our sleves or the world around us and taking that new knowlegde with us to the next sunrise.
I am sorry for this boy, your friend. But you should know that he died knowing that someone cared enough about him to speak into his life. That should be enough of an answer to some of your questions. At least for today.

Talking Bear said...

FNL, thanks for the comment. The boys life was used as an example to a bigger issue of choice. Yes, what ever ripples the boy made in life will continue on for awhile. But there will be no new ripples created from this life. Another life may cause a ripple using the lost life, but that will be their choice. This boy left ignoring the many lives caring for him, his choice, although I am pretty sure he did not understand the consequence of his choice. And that is what this post was about. Our failure to understand the ripple of our choice.

Peajay said...

When, in the quiet moments of our life, we look back on how we lived our lives, made decisions, chose paths to take and recognize that we regret doing the things we’ve done, the choices we’ve made and the roads we chose to follow, there should be no room for regrets because everything in our lives happened for a reason, a purpose. All events and choices lead us to where we ought to be, our destiny.
With every step you take, whether they are positive or not, you will encounter obstacles in your way, causing you to become discouraged, willing you to fail.
Sometimes you give in and do fail. And other times, you persevere and succeed.
But with each passing impediment, each stumble; you are carved into a different person, just like silver or gold must be worked before it attains its final splendour and form.
Remember that life was designed to give you that magnificence of contour in both mind and body and which could never have been achieved without you making the mistakes you made and recognising them ensuring you never make them again.
Regrets are an obstacle in the path of your will to never make the same mistakes again. ‘A life lived in fear is a life only half lived’. Regret is just such a fear.

Anonymous said...

Well said Peajay!!
I agree, we are who we are by the path that we chose to take, good bad or otherwise. It makes us who we are.

Barrett, M said...

I also believe he is still throwing ripples. We usually can't see them. Interestingly, negative lives throw off their own negative ripples even after the person dies. So, we should all be careful how we live either way.

Peace. M

Anonymous said...

I would agree that we become that what we chose. I do not agree that everything happens for a reason or purpose. I, at one time thought this way. But I have seen way too much none purposed, life destroying events to conclude that all things produce purpose or reason. The fact of the matter is that we have the power to make things better if we choose so. But many do not; they can not rebound from the consequences of their choice, which they chose not to look at before they mucked life up. Imagine being the one who had to go into that house in Connecticut and find the consequences and ripples of evil that swept through there. Can you honestly tell me that you can stand in front of that man and say to him that his wife and daughters were raped and murder for some purpose?

I think we create this belief that everything has purpose or reason so we can keep going. I am sorry TB, but life is full of crap that is created or born from sheer stupidity and evil. People need to wake the hell up and realize that we can no longer justify choices that create destructive ripples throughout mankind and beyond. We need to STOP and THINK before we choose a path that will cause harm. Life’s choices are not like some damm disposalable diaper. You can not just clean the crap up and put a new one of.


Talking Bear said...

Wow, I guess I hit a nerve. "In Dismay" thanks for your comment, and thanks for putting an M there. I would like to keep this somewhat of a family type enviornment.

I guess I was trying to post about the need to make the best choice we can by thinking ahead like you mentioned.

MB,PJ and FNL all make great comments on the matter. Hindsight is always 20/20 and foresight is elusive often times. But increasing our awareness of such things may help us make better choices, hopefully?

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