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Thanks for stopping by the bear cave and checking it out. Being serious all the time is un-bear-able, so we have added a great comic strip at the bottom of page for your enjoyment. Please feel free to leave your thoughts,or shoot us an e-mail with the link to the right. We'd love to hear from all the creatures in the forest.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

I hate you, dont leave me.

Recently I've been reading a book called 'I Hate You, Don't Leave Me'. It portrays the lives of people who suffer from Borderline Personality. It talks of these people having a shaky sense of identity, violent outbursts, intense depression, and an irrational fear of abandonement amongst things. Well, much to my dismay, I could relate. But, in a sense, there was relief. I now could understand why I had these feelings, and I now had the power to change them. To be honest, the behaviors are not full blown, thankfully, but I believe they were learned generationally, and then augmented by my father's illness and death when I was a child. Trust me, it's been no easy road, and my ability to have and nurture close relationships still suffer. I can still feel so alone, in a roomful of friends and family...wanting to reach out, fearing vulnerability; not knowing how to reach out, the feelings are there, but the fear of rejection and abandonement quenches them; or worse, perhaps, in the fact that I reach out, connect, then pull back.

The thought of sharing this was a difficult choice for me, obviously for the vulnerablity of it. I share this only because the truth does set you free. We all have our pasts/past experiences that have formed us and affected us, and I believe it helps others to know that they're not alone in the struggle. Some good days, some bad....we all know that. I give my thanks to God, my husband, children and a few close friends/family who are only a phone call or a blog post away...who have extended their kindness, love and loyalty of friendship to me!
Blessings to you all!!!

For those who have similiar situations or experiences, I welcome your discussion. Let us share in tomorrow's sun rise!!


Anonymous said...


Talking Bear said...

Yes, husband. Ar Muin Capaill is one of the SBH writers and she posted this last week. I have been looking for writers to help contribute to this blog. It gets to boring and one sided to just have on writer. I am looking for a more diverse set of view points.

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