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Monday, October 08, 2007

Midge Decter

"It might sound a paradoxical thing to say --for surely never has a generation of children occupied more sheer hours of parental time --but the truth is that we neglected you. We allowed you a charade of trivial freedoms in order to avoid making those impositions on you that are in the end both the training ground and proving ground for true independence. We pronounced you strong when you were still weak in order to avoid the struggles with you that would have fed your true strength. We proclaimed you sound when you were foolish in order to avoid taking part in the long, slow, slogging effort that is the only route to genuine maturity of mind and feeling. Thus, it was no small anomaly of your growing up that while you were the most indulged generation, you were also in many ways the most abandoned to your own meager devices by those into whose safe-keeping you had been given."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a very powerful and sad statement.
It makes me think that maybe, this generation, might just grow up learing how to be a parent.
Maybe, they will be great parents, becasue they have had good lessons in how not to be a parent?
I know that for me, I "work" (lack of a better word) at a having a close and open relationship with my kids, because I didnt have that with mine.
fnl

Talking Bear said...

FNL, I agree, as long as the child sets in their mind to do so. This is what I have experinced in my own life and thus within my family. It will not happen by accident. My hats off to you in doing so, it is a testament to your will.

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