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Friday, January 25, 2008

Chasing Normal?

Can anyone tell me what a normal life is? What is it that we, society, considers to be the norm? What are the desired parameters of normalcy? Is it simply that greatest representation of common behaviors? Does each generation discover their "normal"? If this is true then "normal" is a constant shifting perception. How can anyone conclude that we can achieve a so called normal life when the very definition of normal is constantly changing? More importantly, why do we use this term as a watermark of socially accepted behavior? Do we not tend to shy away from things, or people, who are defined as "not normal"?

The pursuit of normal seems to be a fleeting and self limiting endeavour. Why chase something that is going to change into something we do not want to be? How many of us look back and realize that we have compromised much to fit in with few? Why is it so hard for us to stand alone, uncompromising and unaccepted by the "norm" ? Why is it that standing outside the socially accepted norm feels so cold and lonely, even when we realize that most of those inside the circle of normalcy want out?

It is here, in this crazy place of chasing a normal that I don't even want, that I find inspiration for the next several posts. It is here that I intend to explore the building of self and the ability for us to redefine ourselves as solid persons who stand on our convictions regardless of which circle of "normalcy" we find ourselves traversing. It is a place where we can learn to accept all who journey their own path around us. A place founded in love and acceptance. A place void of the terms of conformity and compromise. I challenge us to erase from our vocabulary terms like; "I do not fit in", I am not good enough", "I can't", "no one likes me", "I fear rejection", and so on. Yes, I am chasing a new "norm" that embraces diversity, individualism, and creativity. I am chasing acceptance by giving it. I am chasing my potential by helping others achieve theirs.

My question to you the reader is this, "is this a place that you long for as well?" Or, are you satisfied with the norm?



Peajay said...

Those terms you refer to are not just words but deep-seated feelings which cannot be put aside as they are ingrained in our mental and physical being.

'The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.'
Carl Gustav Jung

For every one like yourself that accepts, there are three or more others that are prepared to judge.

So yes, I long for that place but I'm also aware that the majority measure against a perceived 'norm'.

Talking Bear said...

PJ, I agree with you 100%. Our emotions are what we remember with each rejection. There is a way to move past those feelings, but as you already stated, it is not easy. I think that the quick action of rejecting is because of deep seated fears of being rejected. This is a destructive cycle that we tend to repeat. I have a saying " We always go back to what we know, no matter how dysfunctional it may be. I have choosen to get past that and grow. I also am aware that most want the same but lack the courage. I have lived outside the norm most of my life so I have less to risk than many. But the return on the risk taken is worth it, or at least I think so.

Peajay said...

It's not always about a lack of courage. It's sometimes that you start to believe those that knock you down because surely all those people can't all be wrong.
It's also not simply about being satisfied with the norm it's just about a need to fit in.

Talking Bear said...

PJ, Do you think it takes courage to un-do one's beliefs? And yes, all "those" people can be wrong. And, I have never seen someone want to fit in with something they deemed outside the norm. Yest we do have a driving need "to love and be loved", as well as "to feel important" but how we go about, and where we look to get these needs met makes a huge difference. I have seen young men try and be something they are not just to fit in. The whole time they are miserable while they act like they fit in. I think it takes courage to accept ourselves and then to just be who we are created to be.

You make jewelry. Imagine one of you necklaces trying to be a bracelet because it thinks it will be liked more. Or a diamond trying to be a ruby, or a chuck of gold trying to be a rock. After all rocks are cool. Yes we need to re-write our internal beliefs, and that takes courage. ;)

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