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Sunday, August 24, 2008

The Lonely Hours of life.

The lonely times in life have bothered me greatly in the past. I, am a very social creature who likes the interaction of others. In fact, I think I was very dependent on such encounters to validate my self image, or at least validate concerns if I was liked enough by others to remain in a state of acceptance. As I have grown, I have come to a place where this type of acceptance is not all that needed, nor really cared for. I have come to seek out the lonely hours of life.

Recently, I was thinking about this issue of enjoyed isolation. I wondered if the internal migration towards such a viewpoint is seeded in my growing distrust and dislike for fake character, hidden agendas, and manipulative schemes. As I seek out solid character in all who I interact with, I find a shrinking population of individuals who are secure in who they really are: broken and beaten souls who simply do not care about how the world sees them anymore and just want to do what can be done to help anyone willing to be helped.

To me, it seems that most of us, me included, are consumed by the effort of hiding from rejection. Running from fears that we make up inside of our lonely self. As soon as I tired from running away and hiding from such fear and surrendered to the belief that I would become consumed by it, it all seemed to freakishly vanish. At first this realization that I may have created my own rejection in my mind confused me. I took an inventory on all the choices I made in the past that may have been based on an illusion created by false fears. This was not very comforting for me. In fact, I became angry with myself for not coming to this place sooner in life. But, that is as they say "water under the bridge", there is no changing the past. But now I seek out those lonely hours in those lonely places and enjoy isolated solitude. I am, what I am. I will never be perfect, in fact perfect in itself is just another illusion created by the exhausted who run from their own fears. I am an imperfect soul who today does not give a damn about trying to be perfect, nor do I care if I am rejected by another, who is still running from who they are.



Peajay said...

I don't think that I ran from who I am, but it's so difficult when sometimes you just wanted to be someone who is accepted, who belongs, even if you don't like what it is that others belong to. I have now found that recognition of this comes with maturity and experience. I strive less to belong and am perhaps more content to just be. However, to 'just be' can also mean to be lonely.
'Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself.'
Carl Gustav Jung

Talking Bear said...

PJ, I think I understand your point of view. I do not want to read to much into your comment, but I feel that the concept of "just being" ia a lonely place if it is simple a place of compromise. To be your self, accepted by yourself and becoming all that you can be is where I was going with the post. Like a wild flower, although it can be all alone, it's beauty can stop a passer-by dead in it's tracks. The flower blooms and grows where it was made to, where fate dealt it to bloom.

I love the Jung quote. I think that is the challenge, to communicate our inner beauty as God made it, not to hide it to become accepted.

what do you think?

Moon Spirit Dreamer said...

First, I think we must recognize our inner beauty as God made it. Next, if we believe it and live it, we communicate it.

The Jung quote is almost perfect. No matter how authentic we become, without the opportunity to exchange our ideas, thoughts, understandings, hopes, the meaning of life and a variety of things with others, we can find ourselves lonely.

I see a lot of people encased in bubbles, briefly making contact like bumper cars. How can anyone have anything substantial to communicate if they don't stop the frantic chase to contemplate the deeper issues of life?

Talking Bear said...

MSD, Thanks for the comment. I really like your input. What do you think one can do to help others out of that "bubble" and into a life they dream about, or out of their box?

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