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Sunday, November 30, 2008

A Child's tenderness.

I have always been moved by the tender heart of children. They love so freely and give so much with little return expected. A child sees the good in all things and draws attention to it. Their innocence and pure of spirit is so moving to me. I have learned to do what I can to protect such unaccounted value. Where, or when do we allow this precious tender heart to be stolen away from us?

Who is selling us this lie that we must mature into haters and grown-ups who distrust everything? Where do we learn to embrace fear as if it is the true measure of life? Who steals that child's love from our hearts?

More importantly, once we realize that it has been stolen, how do we get it back? How do we return to that wonderful place where the world seems so harmless and we can see the beauty in the world around us? This is the inner child I want to hold onto, to cherish all my days here on earth. This is what God calls us to, not the place of grow-up dirtrust and fear.


" I didn't think it would come to this".

This Thanksgiving was one of a kind for me, at least I hope so. I was summoned to my Father's bedside in Northern California. My Daddy is dying, there is no doubt in that. He is 91, weak and feeble. As my sisters, Linda and Lisa, and I tried to comfort him early in the week's saga he looked at us and said " I didn't think it would come to this...........it just kinda snuck up on me!" Between the tears and lumped up throats we laughed at Daddy's comments. He has had a long life and even in his place of mistakes, imperfections, and ugliness, God has blessed him, he knows this. As I looked at my Daddy's tired and worn out body, as I watched him struggle with exhaustion to lift his once powerful hand up to scratch his eyes, I realized that my Daddy has never been bigger in my eyes. His smile and big blue eyes, his laugh and stern voice, his humor and discipline layed in front of me just as if I was trying to wake him from his sleep so we could go out in the yard and play catch. What mystifies me is the understanding that he, while on his death bed, is stilling teaching me about Gods love.

My Daddy is very concerned that he was not a good enough son to Jesus. He did not call enough and see how his heavenly father was doing and if he could help. He worries that he procrastinated too many things for too long and his Heavenly Father is not going to be happy with him when he gets home. As my Daddy's worries came out, I realized that I had the same worries about my relationship with him. I, however, was able to receive my Daddy's tangible and audible love as he forgave me for mean things I said as a child, as he gracefully dismissed time's silent distance and he just loved on me. I think Daddy is going to be surprised just how big of a hug he is going to soon get. I believe my Daddy will soon hear those words, " Good job my faithful servant".

I know that this Thanksgiving gave me a gift, I will always be thankful for my Daddy and this week I was allowed to spend with him.

Room for Living

As I was pondering this morning, while soaking up a week of living, my mind floated into a pool of interesting thoughts. How much room do we give ourselves to live? Do we allow fear to herd us into small confined areas within our lonely souls? Do you have a "room" in your mind that you can go to and experience all of life's imperfect moments; a place of mental awareness that we can just hold onto a moment and let go, let life take us on an adventure. A place where there are no definitions, no expectations, no planned events?

I realize that this room can be scary, at first. But if you have never entered this place you have not experienced a side of life that is very thrilling and awarding, at least I think so. You can start this wonderful creation of living room by simply getting into your car with no destination in mind and just drive, seeing what you may and turning where the urge comes. It may not sound like much but if this idea sounds crazy to you, you need some living room in your life.

Sometimes we need to know, and I mean know, that there is something out there bigger than us, a plan, a crazy big play taking place on the stage of earth with millions of characters acting out their role. This play is where I search for understanding and most of love.


Saturday, November 01, 2008

Losing the inner child?

What does "losing our inner child" actually mean. As I reflected on this issue recently I focused on two separate ideas. One; the meaning of Losing or lost. I soon came to a fork where the path went two different directions. The difference, I guess, is simply a matter dealing with point of view. One can be lost in the forest and simply take some time to get re-orientated. two, we can permanently loss something, like a loved one. That said, when we think about losing the inner child is it simply a matter of having to re-orientate ourselves?, or is it more like that permanent gone for good kind of thing?

Two; the meaning of "inner child". What is an inner child anyway. Is it that early stage in life when things have to be fair? Is it our simple naive innocence? Or is it when we have that ability to imagine? Do we lose the ability to partake in that wonderful world of internal make believe?

Do we really lose this inner child that is, or was, inside each and every one of us at some point in time? Do we chase our inner child away because of some embracing act or rude statement by another? I do not know the answers to any of these questions. I do know, however, that I have spent a lot of time trying to find my inner child and embrace that wonderful ability to imagine and explore that world of 'what if".

For example, What would be different in our world if every one cared more for the other then themselves? What do you think about losing the inner child, and how do we find it in this madness we call adulthood?


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