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Sunday, November 30, 2008

" I didn't think it would come to this".

This Thanksgiving was one of a kind for me, at least I hope so. I was summoned to my Father's bedside in Northern California. My Daddy is dying, there is no doubt in that. He is 91, weak and feeble. As my sisters, Linda and Lisa, and I tried to comfort him early in the week's saga he looked at us and said " I didn't think it would come to this...........it just kinda snuck up on me!" Between the tears and lumped up throats we laughed at Daddy's comments. He has had a long life and even in his place of mistakes, imperfections, and ugliness, God has blessed him, he knows this. As I looked at my Daddy's tired and worn out body, as I watched him struggle with exhaustion to lift his once powerful hand up to scratch his eyes, I realized that my Daddy has never been bigger in my eyes. His smile and big blue eyes, his laugh and stern voice, his humor and discipline layed in front of me just as if I was trying to wake him from his sleep so we could go out in the yard and play catch. What mystifies me is the understanding that he, while on his death bed, is stilling teaching me about Gods love.

My Daddy is very concerned that he was not a good enough son to Jesus. He did not call enough and see how his heavenly father was doing and if he could help. He worries that he procrastinated too many things for too long and his Heavenly Father is not going to be happy with him when he gets home. As my Daddy's worries came out, I realized that I had the same worries about my relationship with him. I, however, was able to receive my Daddy's tangible and audible love as he forgave me for mean things I said as a child, as he gracefully dismissed time's silent distance and he just loved on me. I think Daddy is going to be surprised just how big of a hug he is going to soon get. I believe my Daddy will soon hear those words, " Good job my faithful servant".

I know that this Thanksgiving gave me a gift, I will always be thankful for my Daddy and this week I was allowed to spend with him.


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