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Sunday, October 04, 2009

The illusions of life.

The illusions of life often mislead us to false realities. The other night I was invited as a guest of the main actress to attend a taping of a television show. So I arranged to take my children and give them an opportunity to see how a TV show is made.

It took no time at all before their (kids) questions started to spill forth. The concept of facades, sets, props, and the like began to create several exciting paradigms, and what they thought they saw was not really what they were seeing. It was Hollywood magic at its best. Doors that are not really doors, rooms that are not rooms, an office set next too a bedroom set, where you only have to walk a few feet and the camera sees something completely different. Watching my children walk around the sets and getting to set down on the set was something else. I began, as always, to think about this experience and life as a whole.

I have talked about facades here in other posts, but I have never explored our ability to create and re-create internal sets about who and what we are. How many sets have we created inside? Little rooms of different personalities that we manifest into behaviors. We buy props for these sets, for example, if I wanted to build an image (set) that I am a biker guy. I would need some cool props to sell that image. A motorcycle, some cool clothes and so on. I might even learn some new vocabulary, an create a persona just like a real actor would for a movie part.

But is this image of who I am real or imagined? The TV set we are on, was really nothing more than a big warehouse room. Boring and uncreative. I took someone to create and build what we saw the other night. It took an investment of time, energy and no doubt money.

Who we think we are is not really that different. We broadcast our conceived self to everyone who cares to tune in. Our clothes, cars, furniture, the books we read and put up on shelves, all become props to this madness of self definition. Even the colors we choose are very telling to those who watch our show.

Like Hollywood, we become that image created on that "set". And like Hollywood, we can tear down a set and create a new one. This is the amazing thing, we can change our image, to others and ourselves. But many of us, continue to live out or lives in "sets" created by others. We continue to define our self by what some else created. Is that the image, the life you want?



Peajay said...

No, but it takes such strength to change the 'sets' created by others and at what cost, to ourselves and to those others? It's about breaking free but someone's always going to feel the breaking and what if it shatters?

Talking Bear said...

Well Pj, my thought is if that person truly cares about you as a person, than there should be any shattering. Your development and success is really what matters, or at least it should be what matters. We are creatures designed to grow and change. As our experience and knowledge grow, so should our sets.

This is a challenge for many, because our own security rests within some else, and this is where we go wrong. It is not easy to encourage my children to grow beyond me, but that is there destiny and I am not to stop such things. I also have worked hard not to impose my sets on to them.

The energy to change sets should come from a positive energy. One of excitement and joy. For me, everything from new shoes to new cars are all a part of the development. Those who know me, know that I have many sets that I operate in. Form a high end business setting, to the owner and operator of a tractor service. trucks to a Jaguar, I am in a constant state of growth. I can build a house or build a global network. Yes some get pissy with me because they want me to stay where they feel comfortable. But I am not living my life for them, it's my Life!

Peajay said...

What if you've left it too long to change? That people are so used to you the way you are that the wish to change would be the breaking point? Are we not limited by those we love, by the restrictions placed upon us by others and reinforced by expectation and conformity?

Talking Bear said...

I do not think, nor have I ever heard of time being the issue. As fo r the rest of the question, It is you choice what you allow to be the limiting factors or the deciding factors. That's the whole point, it is a choice.

Do you make the same piece of jewelery the same way, the same exact size and all every time? Of course not. Why? Glad your back PJ, the Bear missed you!

Peajay said...

But what if you spent so long, so very long, working on a certain 'set', doing what you thought was the way things should be done because that was all there was. Then one day you found that there was an alternative, a different 'set', but if you were to attempt change it would impact on the other players in your set. I know this is where the choice lies but that could also be where the shattering comes in.
Not everything is as black & white as you sometimes allude to TB. The choice isn't always ours to make.

Talking Bear said...

The choice is always ours to make. The awareness of others, and the impact our choices have on them is another issue. My point, is the simple awareness that we do have a choice.

Weather I choose to shatter or not shatter is still a choice. This is most commonly seen in dissolved marriages. A choice to leave effects many, or at least the nucleus family. Children tend to engage in self blame for their parents choice.

Yes, our awareness IN CHOICE IS BLACK AND WHITE. What we choose and why is another path. It is simple and elusive to many. You have a choice to make, period. Once we become aware of this the next step is becoming aware of our options and developing a consciousness of our choice's ripple on others.

Anonymous said...

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