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Monday, January 25, 2010

Massaging a quote

I was recently reminded of a quote that goes like this: "Show me your friends, and I will show you who you are". I like that quote, but as I wrestled with its true value, I decided to change it up a little to fit my arena more. Here is what I came up with;

"Show me your friends, and they will show me who you think you are."

Our friends, or those how we associate with tend to be a telling sign about our internal self concept, our sum of our own value. The old saying " Birds of a feather flock together" become much more than just a saying. Am I worthy to hang out with smart people? Or, I am not that smart so I will hang out with not so smart people just like me.

Some, may be even all, of our choices are signs of our internal definition of our value and worth. But what happens when we thrust this sum of self concept into a state of disequilibrium? What happens when we start to hang with others not "like" us?

As we grow, intrinsically and extrinsically , should our friendships change as well? If I can step back from seeking validation from those I perceive as just like me, create my own self worth, does this change who or how I view friendships? I think it changes and should change. I think that by forcing myself into what I first perceived as zones of social discomfort and grow from the experiences my social network and friendships are bound to constant change.



shotovclairity said...

I agree. The older we get the more of this world we understand, Also realize that the people around us change because they are growing from different paths and and their choices they make. I actually had this experience not too long ago and we've talked about it, the issues with my sister. Well she decided to open up and officially tell me what was wrong; I understood where she was coming from to a certain extent, As I sat there and read everything. I've realized how much we've gone down separate paths and I've evolved to a different person I still had a connection but not always the same opinion as we once has with each other, It hurt me to realize how much we've changed and how I couldn't stop it. I understand about the social discomforts as well I find it hard to make new friends seeing as I have trust issues , I just think this was interesting topic you decided to bring up because I think this way all the time .


Talking Bear said...

Hey Sweety, how are you. thanks for the comment.

Anonymous said...

I'm good we miss the hell out of you! I've been trying to keep up with your blogs since this is the only place I can seem to find you, I heard your redoing the bedroom I talk to mel every once and a while on facebook. How are things with you? and no thank you for blogs they make me think differently about certain situations.

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